Words Can’t Describe……….

When I say words can’t describe, I meant it; they really, really don’t.    Words can’t tell you what it’s like to hold your dying brother, knowing that the words he is speaking to you are probably the last words recognizing you for who you are-his sister.  Words can’t describe what it’s like to sign papers admitting your dying father to Hospice, alone, with only the hospice counselor there to comfort and help you through it.   There are no words for a friend who is having to make tough decisions about a parent, sister, brother, spouse or child, whether they are having to decide about long term care, hospice care or life saving decisions.  Sometimes people just quit calling, because they don’t have the words. What they might not realize though, is that there are 3 or 4 words that can help most of the time.  A simple call or card to say “I love you” or “I’m praying for you” can carry someone faced with these decisions a long way.

It’s tough being a caregiver, and let me tell you I’ve done it, and I am still doing it. But the truth is that I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I pray constantly for God to guide my heart and mind in the decisions that I make for my loved ones.  I know that I have a huge support system, and they also are storming the gates of Heaven for God to provide the wisdom I am seeking.  Everyday is different, but some days are better, and some are worse.  I know as my mother’s AD (Alzheimer’s Disease) progresses, there will be more worse than better. That’s all the more reason I have to squeeze what I can out of the better ones.  Whether it’s breakfast with her friends, taking her to her hairdresser (the same one for 15 years) to have her hair done, or lunch with her BFF; we will make the most of those things.  Sometimes it could be a simple trip to the grocery store, but even that is special.  I have a wonderful group of family and friends (both longtime and church family)-that I know I can count on to help me, pray for me or just listen to me.  I have friends going through the same things-and God allows us to hold each other up.  If you know of someone who is a caregiver for a friend or relative-please offer them support.  It could be something s simple as making a meal, dropping off bread and milk, sitting for an hour or two to give them some respite care; any little thing to you becomes a big thing to them, and will not go unnoticed.  But the worst thing you can do at all-is to stop calling………that is the loneliest thing of all.

Today was a better day-we sang at church, laughed at lunch and rejoiced at new life to come soon in the form of a baby-I will cherish today.


~ by Rhonda on September 27, 2009.

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